One Down Four To Go

Thanksgiving is over...next up, my birthday, then Mom's then Christmas, then New Years. It's always such a busy time and I tend to get last minute with things as I seem to always be playing catch-up at this time of the year.

Once again I'm trying to be organized and get things done ahead of time.

I have the added chore of renewing my driver's license this year and I'm thankful I have my Kindle to make the wait easier.

I'm busy beading away on the Industrial Chic : Corrugations line with more ideas popping up all the time.

Nothing ready to be photographed yet so I figured I'd show you a couple of rings. The dark one has been sitting around in my components box for a while as I couldn't decide if I wanted to make it into a two-section 'Finger Armor' ring. A larger size too...too big for me but fits Mom :)

I have to say....I like the photo of this one....that sparkle on the cab is not added after...and it's perfect...lol! If only I could get that every time.

The copper 'Finger Armor' ring was one I made with the idea of putting it into my store. The problem with these rings is you have to use two ring sizes and so it's better to try them on than buy online. I did a few for a gallery and they sold like hotcakes.  I keep meaning to get around to patterning them...it's on the constant 'To Do' list :(

Other wise I have been working out religiously ....that means just Sundays....right? Kidding!  I didn't lose any weight after week two but I got the tape measure out and discovered I'd lost a total of 6 1/2" in the two weeks so with the 2.6lbs lost in week one I feel good about my progress :)

I certainly feel brighter, lighter and more energetic but I'm sleeping a LOT and I'd need to work on not needing quite as much sleep.

That way I can get more beading done and get closer to catching my muse.

I need a New Alarm Clock

I need one that will tip me out of bed when I hit the snooze button for the third time.  Or maybe someone needs to come take my Kindle away from me after an hour :) I'll blame it on Gemma Halliday right now...just started the second of her "High Heels" mysteries and they are a fun read, one I have a hard time putting down.

So, I feel really tired today and actually thinking about taking a rest day. Maybe a day of not hitting the elliptical will give my body time to regulate it's temperature. Ever since I started exercising my body temperature has gone skyward....ten days ago I was wearing two sweaters in the house and now I'm down to a tank top and I'm still hot.  I think that has something to do with a confused metabolism :)

I've been sifting through things I've made but haven't done the tutorials for yet....they now all reside in a little chest on my desk.  These are some of them.

My  "Petite Pacquets" ("Little Packages") series

Chunky with pearls.

Embedded Shells

Diamond Pendant/Brooch

And then something a little different.....a ring from a series I call "Crustaceans" I have a pendant and earrings too but they haven't turned up yet :) I know I put them somewhere safe...lol...you know how that goes!

Sometimes I think I'll never get caught up.

Back to Health and Energy

A chunk of my time right now is used up trying to get me back to a healthy weight and improve my health....building my body into a fortress so I can take what the world seems to delight throwing at me.

I signed up on FatSecret.com which is turning out to be a spectacular tool for weight loss. Four days of using it and the elliptical and I dropped 2.6lbs. I really thought that, even though I was not eating as healthy as I did when I lived on my own, I was still doing a good job....nyet!

Logging every little thing I eat into FS I discovered my fat intake was way up there, followed closely by carbs....no wonder I was gaining so much. Now I see keeping my fat below 20% and my protein around 30% as a challenge and work it out each day to keep it at that. Then I make sure my calories out are at least 1000 more than my calories in.  It's simple :)

And it's only taken me 3 seasons of The Biggest Loser to get it...lol!

If anyone wants to join me....hop on over to FatSecret.com...it's free...and buddy me...Mik335...you can see what I'm eating and doing to lose the weight.

I am finding time to bead though it's still slow going but I did decide to release this one...a soft bangle of Embellished Corrugations

I was planning to submit this to B&B but as I seem to be working on a series of the Corrugations I thought I'd design something else for them :)

I'm working on a second sample right now with a different embellishment, one using the new Twin seed beads.  It's less blingy and more day wear...the one pictured is very sparkly though it doesn't look so much in the picture. The outer black beads are Chinese crystal rondelles and very sparkly :)

I ordered some Steampunky things today to go with the Industrial Chic line and I'm hoping the designs my muse came up with work :)  The corrugated peyote does take time but I really feel it's worth it when I see the results and I hope others will feel the same way.

Onward and Upward!

One step in front of the other really works...no matter how small the steps are.

I'm happy to report that I'm making progress, slowly but surely.

Sometimes I think my life is like a game show.... more 'Wipeout' than 'Amazing Race' only I'm not sure what the prize is or even if there is one.

But this whole episode teaches me to just stay focused on the things that make me happy, the things I feel good about and that always comes down to my creativity.  A few people have given me some real strength and helped me believe again...and those have been people I've never actually met in real life which helps enormously in the 'faith in human nature' department.

I am hugely thankful for those people...and you know who you are :)

All the encouragement to not quit beading worked and I have managed to almost finish one design (just waiting for the beads I ran out of) that I'd started before it all hit the fan.

This is "Corrugated Filigree" part of my "Industrial Chic" line.

There will be a necklace too and earrings...and, of course tutorials for them all :)

I also managed a variation of my corrugated peyote that I'm really pleased with but can't show as it's destined for Bead & Button. In the midst of all the crap B&B contacted me about submitting a couple of projects for the magazine....completely honored by this but somewhat freaked because my brain wasn't working.

I asked what they were interested in and they said a flatwork design and something like my Arianne Bangles...peyote-ish :)  So, one down, the flatwork design in my head but not translating onto paper yet. I can see it in my mind...and it's gorgeous...lol! But my brain is still sticking, maybe I haven't reloaded that program yet :)

Last night I picked up the project that I was working out when my brain shorted out, it's now become the 'challenge'. The idea is to translate one of my crochet designs into beading...not beaded crochet, pure bead weaving.

  I did actually get the beads to do what I wanted them to but I'm still playing with it. I got the idea to work with a blend of RAW and peyote on a narrow strip but I would  like it to work purely with peyote and on a wide strip. Or it could be herringbone...we'll see :)

I can tell I'm doing better as I'm back to having more ideas than I can deal with but I still find myself really nervous about pattern writing. What if that program hasn't reloaded into my brain....it's a case of plucking up the courage to find out....but that won't be today....or tomorrow. My goal is to give it a try on Monday.   Baby steps :)

Climbing Out of an Abyss

Obviously I've been absent from my blog, I feel like I've been absent from my life.  Truth is I feel my life has been on hold for seven years now, the life where I am a social, fun loving, get involved person. But the last five months have been absolutely horrendous.

Stress from family and the realization that I'm just a 'utility' to them, that I have no protection and have to be prepared for things that I know will happen to disrupt my life in the future and of which I have no control whatsoever has all made me a wreck.

The disbanding of the Bead Mavens in not a happy way seems to have been the final straw for me. I fell apart totally....and the thing I had been most afraid of happened.  I lost my ability to bead.

I'd been struggling for a couple of months with concentration and my level of production had dropped right down but all of a sudden I couldn't remember stitches or work out things that normally come easily. I know some of you will be worried about me...trust me I know exactly what you're thinking because I've experienced it before. That said I am doing everything I should be...so be assured of that.

After a solid week of not being able to bead a dang thing I decided I just needed to go back to the beginning, so I printed out one of my peyote flatwork patterns and followed the instructions :) I could still follow a pattern...YAY!

That's not saying I haven't unbeaded a hell of a lot more than usual....but for me it was progress. 

The thing with me is I am hopeless at dealing with stress when it gets built up past a certain level...and that level is pretty high, but once reached I simply stop being able to function.  It actually takes my body physically reacting to the stress to shake me out of it.  Then I go into crisis mode (I am the person you want around in a crisis) and my practicality takes over.  It cuts through all the crap, makes decisions and gets on with it. It kicks foot holes in the side of the abyss so I can climb out.

I've accepted that I need to have a bag packed for Thanksgiving and Christmas so if the thing we dread... happens, I can leave quickly and go to a hotel. It's the safe thing to do....sucks royally...but whatcha gonnna do? Safety first! Emotional and physical!  And so what if I'm alone in a hotel for the holidays...I'll make it fun.   And I refuse to think past there right now.

And I'm back to working up a new design. Something I've done before but tweaked and with a new element. It's going very slowly, lots of ripping out because my brain is still not behaving but I'm getting there.  My muse hasn't been fazed at all and has continued to throw more ideas at me which is on one hand annoying because I'm not capable of working them out, and on the other hand reassuring that the creative part of my brain is working fine.

I'm challenging myself to work out the new design that showed me my brain wasn't functioning correctly and when I've done that I will feel more like 'me'.

I'm thinking of my brain like a computer....it froze up, had to be rebooted and I still need to reload all the programs. We all know how irritating that can be :)

It took some finding but after turning everything upside down I did manage to find a tiny bit of hope and I'm nurturing it so it grows and takes over my life.

The 'UGH' of it All.

Definitely a word that's in my brain and frequently pops out of my mouth thesedays as I sort through my studio for what I can throw away, give to Goodwill or pack up ready to move.

I still have a fair way to go with my studio but the bones of it are now done and I have a definite office area and a definite sitting/beading area. I am sick of moving furniture...lol! And I still have to get a large set of drawers out of here, move a six foot tall bookcase and a couple of 3 foot bookcases (let's not mention I'll have to do this all again when I'm ready to paint and put new carpet down). I do love my new desk and I have already discovered that the black glass top of it is cool for taking photos on.

I think Mom and I have now toured every furniture store in the area and it did have the desired effect of having Mom realise how outdated the house is....1990 Old Lady is the design term I believe.  But you can update things a LOT with the right can of spray paint, fresh colors on the walls, and the removal of all the frills and old lady knick knacks :)

Going around the furniture stores I was surprised to see how Steampunk has become a living design style and blown away that it is indeed my living design style.  I realised I had some hints of it amongst my belongings but everything I loved in the furniture shops was totally Steampunk.

So when we move I now know what my home will look like....before I seemed to only buy furniture that folded and that totally said "unsettled".

I've also decided some things I want outside my house....a paved patio with a fountain, some raised planters where I can grow some food and a swing!!!!

I want a swing....not a swinging couch....a real big kid's swing.

I love swings, they are perfect for venting....getting on and pumping your legs hard to get out all your frustrations. Or just to relax and swing gently on while meditating...you can't beat a swing!

When I was nannying in Malibu the couple I worked for began to have problems and even though they were seeing an excellent therapist they did not seem to be able to stop the shouting matches in front of the kids. So whenever one of their arguments started and I knew it was going to be a doozy I would hustle the little boy and girl into the car and take them to the swings on Zuma beach.  It was always our escape.

So...I want a swing!!!!

I will be posting some before and after photos of my studio (though I forgot to take the before ones until I'd already started the destruction so they look worse than they actually were). 

And as I sit here writing this I'm eyeballing the God-awful frilled window treatment...THAT has to GO!

I have managed a bit of beading this week and I'm rather happy with it :)

I decided to work on a cab I bought from my friend Sandy Spivey last year and it was the perfect opportunity to do some of the 'fair isle' beading I've had in my mind for ages.  Knitting and crochet translates beautifully into beads and is so much fun to do :)

And these photos are, of course, taken on my new desk :)

Attack of the Drive-By Muse

Components, components.

Sometimes a vision is just a lot of components and you have to trust that your muse knows what she's doing.  That's how I feel about this fascinator I'm working on.  So far it's starfish and spheres with loops and twists and just a faint idea of how it will look when finished.

This is one of those things that I have a feeling about but it tends to make my knees shake wondering if I can pull it off.  I had the same feeling with my Urchin Choker and that turned out great so I keep reassuring myself with that.

Of course, there is always the issue with finishing a big unusual piece.....sometimes it just doesn't happen. The piece below is still sitting on my mannequin waiting to be finished.  It's a little bit further along than the picture shows although the fills have been taken out because they just weren't meeting my vision.

Sometimes our muses have more faith in us than we have in ourselves.

Or maybe they just don't have a grasp on how long these pieces take, and don't realise how frustrating their drive-by design attacks can be.

That said, I am endeavoring to live up to my muse (who might also be visiting Lady Gaga thesedays) and create the wilder, off the wall designs.

As someone who makes her living solely from selling tutorials this is quite scarey but I'm trusting that the components for these crazy pieces will lend themselves to more wearable designs and sales.

I'm not sure how creating a beaded sonic screwdriver will translate but it sure has me excited...and that's just how I need to be.