This is what I'm telling myself as I look at yet another mess of bead boards full of false starts. I have definitely learned that too much stress kills my ability to bead. Oh...the design ideas are still there but putting thread to bead is like climbing Everest for me.
I'm stuck doing mundane responsibilities and tackling stress inducing issues, a lot of which come from being in depression stasis for so long. The ripples that come from an event can be as devastating as the event itself. BUT I'm holding my own. Haven't crumbled. Haven't hidden in the closet with a blankie. Though I am going blank for a few hours each day....ZombieMikki!
I try to focus on good things.....my orchids, the fresh growth of my deck garden, getting back to cooking/baking and, of course, Ms. Bella. Today I celebrated the opening of a new flower on my only currently flowering oncidium....however last night I found new growth and even new flower spikes on my two 'dormant' ones. Not so dormant after all!
I did order beads yesterday for a design I've had in mind for well over a year so I'm still hopeful. And I do have an idea for it that might make it kittable but that also means getting out the sewing machine. Cryptic, aren't I? But you know how it goes, you have to keep new ideas under wraps or someone will steal them. And I have an idea for a new polymer focal that would become a kit too. I guess that's how I do see my business growing, specialized kits, that is kits with a component you can't find anywhere else.
While my designs are doable for beginner to intermediate beaders, especially if they have a video class, I think I lean toward the advanced beader. That's not a bad thing in my book. It seems there is so much out there that is aimed at the beginner beader or the beader who wants something they can make in a day or two while watching TV. However, for the beader who wants a challenge, who craves to learn something new it seems their choices are limited.....taking a class with a top designer who has a new technique tops the choices but classes like that are not cheap given you may have to travel to them too. I think the next best thing is a custom kit with a tutorial and video class....so that's my goal for 2015. Providing I finally get the ability to put thread to bead back.
I guess one good thing with the beading stasis is as I find some unfinished piece of beading that wasn't going anywhere I'm ripping it up and sorting the beads...replenishing stock without having to buy.
The new store is being worked on and is looking good....new photos or just re-editing old ones is giving everything a better look. I've definitely managed to breathe new life into some of the older, not-so-noticed designs. And at least it makes me feel like I'm achieving SOMEthing! I've always been such a productive person so not producing makes me feel like a failure.
It will all come back. I have to trust in that.