One Down Four To Go

Thanksgiving is over...next up, my birthday, then Mom's then Christmas, then New Years. It's always such a busy time and I tend to get last minute with things as I seem to always be playing catch-up at this time of the year.

Once again I'm trying to be organized and get things done ahead of time.

I have the added chore of renewing my driver's license this year and I'm thankful I have my Kindle to make the wait easier.

I'm busy beading away on the Industrial Chic : Corrugations line with more ideas popping up all the time.

Nothing ready to be photographed yet so I figured I'd show you a couple of rings. The dark one has been sitting around in my components box for a while as I couldn't decide if I wanted to make it into a two-section 'Finger Armor' ring. A larger size too...too big for me but fits Mom :)

I have to say....I like the photo of this one....that sparkle on the cab is not added after...and it's perfect...lol! If only I could get that every time.

The copper 'Finger Armor' ring was one I made with the idea of putting it into my store. The problem with these rings is you have to use two ring sizes and so it's better to try them on than buy online. I did a few for a gallery and they sold like hotcakes.  I keep meaning to get around to patterning them...it's on the constant 'To Do' list :(

Other wise I have been working out religiously ....that means just Sundays....right? Kidding!  I didn't lose any weight after week two but I got the tape measure out and discovered I'd lost a total of 6 1/2" in the two weeks so with the 2.6lbs lost in week one I feel good about my progress :)

I certainly feel brighter, lighter and more energetic but I'm sleeping a LOT and I'd need to work on not needing quite as much sleep.

That way I can get more beading done and get closer to catching my muse.

I need a New Alarm Clock

I need one that will tip me out of bed when I hit the snooze button for the third time.  Or maybe someone needs to come take my Kindle away from me after an hour :) I'll blame it on Gemma Halliday right now...just started the second of her "High Heels" mysteries and they are a fun read, one I have a hard time putting down.

So, I feel really tired today and actually thinking about taking a rest day. Maybe a day of not hitting the elliptical will give my body time to regulate it's temperature. Ever since I started exercising my body temperature has gone skyward....ten days ago I was wearing two sweaters in the house and now I'm down to a tank top and I'm still hot.  I think that has something to do with a confused metabolism :)

I've been sifting through things I've made but haven't done the tutorials for yet....they now all reside in a little chest on my desk.  These are some of them.

My  "Petite Pacquets" ("Little Packages") series

Chunky with pearls.

Embedded Shells

Diamond Pendant/Brooch

And then something a little different.....a ring from a series I call "Crustaceans" I have a pendant and earrings too but they haven't turned up yet :) I know I put them somewhere safe...lol...you know how that goes!

Sometimes I think I'll never get caught up.

Back to Health and Energy

A chunk of my time right now is used up trying to get me back to a healthy weight and improve my health....building my body into a fortress so I can take what the world seems to delight throwing at me.

I signed up on FatSecret.com which is turning out to be a spectacular tool for weight loss. Four days of using it and the elliptical and I dropped 2.6lbs. I really thought that, even though I was not eating as healthy as I did when I lived on my own, I was still doing a good job....nyet!

Logging every little thing I eat into FS I discovered my fat intake was way up there, followed closely by carbs....no wonder I was gaining so much. Now I see keeping my fat below 20% and my protein around 30% as a challenge and work it out each day to keep it at that. Then I make sure my calories out are at least 1000 more than my calories in.  It's simple :)

And it's only taken me 3 seasons of The Biggest Loser to get it...lol!

If anyone wants to join me....hop on over to FatSecret.com...it's free...and buddy me...Mik335...you can see what I'm eating and doing to lose the weight.

I am finding time to bead though it's still slow going but I did decide to release this one...a soft bangle of Embellished Corrugations

I was planning to submit this to B&B but as I seem to be working on a series of the Corrugations I thought I'd design something else for them :)

I'm working on a second sample right now with a different embellishment, one using the new Twin seed beads.  It's less blingy and more day wear...the one pictured is very sparkly though it doesn't look so much in the picture. The outer black beads are Chinese crystal rondelles and very sparkly :)

I ordered some Steampunky things today to go with the Industrial Chic line and I'm hoping the designs my muse came up with work :)  The corrugated peyote does take time but I really feel it's worth it when I see the results and I hope others will feel the same way.

Onward and Upward!

One step in front of the other really works...no matter how small the steps are.

I'm happy to report that I'm making progress, slowly but surely.

Sometimes I think my life is like a game show.... more 'Wipeout' than 'Amazing Race' only I'm not sure what the prize is or even if there is one.

But this whole episode teaches me to just stay focused on the things that make me happy, the things I feel good about and that always comes down to my creativity.  A few people have given me some real strength and helped me believe again...and those have been people I've never actually met in real life which helps enormously in the 'faith in human nature' department.

I am hugely thankful for those people...and you know who you are :)

All the encouragement to not quit beading worked and I have managed to almost finish one design (just waiting for the beads I ran out of) that I'd started before it all hit the fan.

This is "Corrugated Filigree" part of my "Industrial Chic" line.

There will be a necklace too and earrings...and, of course tutorials for them all :)

I also managed a variation of my corrugated peyote that I'm really pleased with but can't show as it's destined for Bead & Button. In the midst of all the crap B&B contacted me about submitting a couple of projects for the magazine....completely honored by this but somewhat freaked because my brain wasn't working.

I asked what they were interested in and they said a flatwork design and something like my Arianne Bangles...peyote-ish :)  So, one down, the flatwork design in my head but not translating onto paper yet. I can see it in my mind...and it's gorgeous...lol! But my brain is still sticking, maybe I haven't reloaded that program yet :)

Last night I picked up the project that I was working out when my brain shorted out, it's now become the 'challenge'. The idea is to translate one of my crochet designs into beading...not beaded crochet, pure bead weaving.

  I did actually get the beads to do what I wanted them to but I'm still playing with it. I got the idea to work with a blend of RAW and peyote on a narrow strip but I would  like it to work purely with peyote and on a wide strip. Or it could be herringbone...we'll see :)

I can tell I'm doing better as I'm back to having more ideas than I can deal with but I still find myself really nervous about pattern writing. What if that program hasn't reloaded into my brain....it's a case of plucking up the courage to find out....but that won't be today....or tomorrow. My goal is to give it a try on Monday.   Baby steps :)

Climbing Out of an Abyss

Obviously I've been absent from my blog, I feel like I've been absent from my life.  Truth is I feel my life has been on hold for seven years now, the life where I am a social, fun loving, get involved person. But the last five months have been absolutely horrendous.

Stress from family and the realization that I'm just a 'utility' to them, that I have no protection and have to be prepared for things that I know will happen to disrupt my life in the future and of which I have no control whatsoever has all made me a wreck.

The disbanding of the Bead Mavens in not a happy way seems to have been the final straw for me. I fell apart totally....and the thing I had been most afraid of happened.  I lost my ability to bead.

I'd been struggling for a couple of months with concentration and my level of production had dropped right down but all of a sudden I couldn't remember stitches or work out things that normally come easily. I know some of you will be worried about me...trust me I know exactly what you're thinking because I've experienced it before. That said I am doing everything I should be...so be assured of that.

After a solid week of not being able to bead a dang thing I decided I just needed to go back to the beginning, so I printed out one of my peyote flatwork patterns and followed the instructions :) I could still follow a pattern...YAY!

That's not saying I haven't unbeaded a hell of a lot more than usual....but for me it was progress. 

The thing with me is I am hopeless at dealing with stress when it gets built up past a certain level...and that level is pretty high, but once reached I simply stop being able to function.  It actually takes my body physically reacting to the stress to shake me out of it.  Then I go into crisis mode (I am the person you want around in a crisis) and my practicality takes over.  It cuts through all the crap, makes decisions and gets on with it. It kicks foot holes in the side of the abyss so I can climb out.

I've accepted that I need to have a bag packed for Thanksgiving and Christmas so if the thing we dread... happens, I can leave quickly and go to a hotel. It's the safe thing to do....sucks royally...but whatcha gonnna do? Safety first! Emotional and physical!  And so what if I'm alone in a hotel for the holidays...I'll make it fun.   And I refuse to think past there right now.

And I'm back to working up a new design. Something I've done before but tweaked and with a new element. It's going very slowly, lots of ripping out because my brain is still not behaving but I'm getting there.  My muse hasn't been fazed at all and has continued to throw more ideas at me which is on one hand annoying because I'm not capable of working them out, and on the other hand reassuring that the creative part of my brain is working fine.

I'm challenging myself to work out the new design that showed me my brain wasn't functioning correctly and when I've done that I will feel more like 'me'.

I'm thinking of my brain like a computer....it froze up, had to be rebooted and I still need to reload all the programs. We all know how irritating that can be :)

It took some finding but after turning everything upside down I did manage to find a tiny bit of hope and I'm nurturing it so it grows and takes over my life.