Artbeads sent me the beads I was missing to finish the JOGS competition piece, not that I couldn't have done another part of it in the meantime. I've had trouble picking it up and working on it and I've had to wonder why....I think it's a couple of things, self-doubt and fear. The self doubt comes because when I've been working on a piece for a while it begins to feel very ordinary to me. The fear is actually my old demon, fear of success. I'm actually scared about winning this one, and yes....it's a big 'what if'.
As I think about it I realise I've been avoiding entering the big competitions. People are always surprised I'm not more successful....they see my art and sometimes even get angry with me about it. I tried to put how I feel into my self-portrait "Artist Bound"....the feeling of being trapped within myself. I'm really trying hard with the beading to break free and live up to my potential, it just ain't easy!
So, the plan for the day is to at least get some of the JOGS piece put together. I'm bribing myself....if I get the last three urchin wings made I can play with the mathematical bead ideas and work on the chain for the Dalek Deca Vessel Pendant.
It's a bugger when you have to bribe yourself.
What a beautiful self-portrait! I wish I had the secret words to break "fear's" hold on us. Your work is awesome, Mikki!
ReplyDeleteThat portrait is amazing, wonderful work! I know sometimes fear has a place, but often it holds us back!!!!
ReplyDeleteMikki...your work is stunning I know you will work through the fear!!!
Cheers